Goals: To draw the hate and anger out of political and religious disagreements with friends and relatives.
To help those with whom I am in disagreement, feel validated and valued by me, even if I think they are really wrong or badly misinformed. People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou
Continue the lifelong work of creating a firm spiritual ground on which I can take a compassionate stance to work for truth and justice.
Note: My goal is not to change minds. Minds will in the presence of love and respect, will change themselves.
- Become familiar with my own ego tricks for defending against anxiety by going one-up on people or projecting my darkness on to them.
- Learn to see the sacred in every person, especially those with whom I am in strong disagreement.
- Use active listening techniques to really hear what the other person is saying, their fears, their joys, what keeps them in the game of life. What is their version of reality? Maybe learn a bit of their life story.
- Find and articulate the common values that you share.
- Use story and experience to tell your version of reality.
- When the discussion is depleted, let it naturally move to topics like how the Bears could win the Super Bowl this year or how good the veggie subs taste at Jersey Mike’s.
Rev. Jim McConnell